2 Become 1, Marriage, Pieces of My Life

Day 1: Do Not Judge

1“Do not judge so that you will not be judged. For in the way you judge, you will be judged; and [a]by your standard of measure, it will be measured to you. Why do you look at the speck that is in your brother’s eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye? – Matthew 7:1-3 NASB

It’s my first day as a missus.

Do you see how huge this is!?

Maybe not.

Yet.

I’ve been a single mom for so long that the thought of having a good man beside me — the one I’d call “My Husband” — was starting to feel like a dream.

It was starting to feel like JUST a possibility, especially that my standards have changed.

I am now looking for not only a “good man,” but also a man of God.

But the Lord…

But the Lord (Ooooh! One of my favorite phrases!!! 😃) has other plans for me.

My now-husband Kidlat and I waited so long for this moment.

Like what we posted on our wedding countdown (Yes, we did a 10-day countdown so we’d stay top of mind and the guests would remember the BIG DAY), none of these momentous events would’ve been possible if not for the One who stood by us in our not-so-typical journey — our Glorious Hope, Jesus. 🙌

New Title, New Challenges, New Adventure

As I begin another journey as a wife, I’d like to jot down and share my new adventures.

New learnings. New insights. New realizations.

When I thought I have lived out all the “firsts” I wanted to experience, God never ceases to surprise me with His awesome ways and a whole lot of “firsts” still along my way.

So, for my first day as missus, I am thankful to the Lord for the Sunday service message — Do Not Judge.

Taken from Matthew 7:1-3, this topic about NOT passing judgment on others boils down to three reasons according to Pastor Joby Soriano of Christ’s Commission Fellowship.

  1. We don’t know all the facts.
  2. We don’t know the heart and motives of others.
  3. We are not God.

It’s a very timely message as my husband and I talk about our family theme for the upcoming year.

A family theme is something we commit to doing for the rest of the year.

The first time we tried doing this was this year — 2018.

We failed.

We lack commitment and intentionality.

Well, we can always try again and do better.

Yes, that’s the plan!

This 2019, now that we already have the Lord’s blessing in our marriage, we are excited to lead our not-so-typical family.

Pastor Joby gave a striking visual aid to help us understand Matthew 7:3 that says

“Why do you look at the speck that is in your brother’s eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye?

Can you imagine how small a speck of sawdust is? Can you imagine seeing it on other people’s eye? I surely can’t!

But it’s a very powerful illustration of how we tend to see and magnify the negative and not-so-nice things in other people’s lives.

Here’s an example…

When our child would call on my husband and he wouldn’t respond, I take it negatively against my husband and think that his work is more important over showing significance and affection to our child.

When I asked him about his response (or lack of it), he said he didn’t hear what I said. 

We were so close — not even two feet – away from you and you didn’t hear it!?🤐

Those were the ugly thoughts in my head. 

To cut the long story short, we ended up offending each other because of the assumptions we made about each other’s reaction. Our relationship suffered because we chose not to communicate properly.

Thank God because we were able to settle our differences before the day ended.

This happened a few days before our wedding

It was wrong of me to assume and “notice the speck” in my husband’s eye when I have a log — my own hangups — in my own eye?

This log that symbolizes pride, anger, greed, and lies make it difficult for us to connect with others. Without setting these aside, we will remain critical and judgmental to those around us.

What a sad picture this paints for parents and their children!

Thank God we’re not supposed to do it in our own strength.

I cannot honor God if I think I’m better than everybody else, if I look at others based on MY own standards, and if I CHOOSE to see the bad in others.

Honoring God is impossible apart from God. 

I thank God for touching my heart and showing me to extend the same grace He extended towards me to those who need it most yet don’t know it yet.

Who says marriage is easy?

According to our officiating minister, marriage is spelled H-A-R-D-W-O-R-K.

Bullseye!

And like any skill, hitting the bullseye would require practice, time, effort, and — yes hard work.

That’s why I want to be intentional about writing and looking for moments when I can honor God by thanking Him for His wonderful deeds in my life, in our lives.

Knowing that I’m not meant to carry this burden alone (like not judging others, as starters) makes me feel better already.

There will be struggle and conflict. Ups and downs.

But we will overcome.

Not in our own strength, but the Lord’s.

What about you?

When did you last assume or conclude what others were thinking that led to a disagreement and misunderstanding? What did you do to make things fine again? Share your stories on the comment box below. 👇

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